Yesterday was National Coming Out day, for some it is odd that we need a day for that. For others it is a date to pin everything upon. Coming out is deeply personal and yet it is the most public one can be. Coming out makes you vulnerable. Who should I tell? How will I say it? what happens if they don’t accept me?
Many of our members come to us to find the words to empower them to come out.
True, lasting mental wellbeing
Chrysalis is a mental wellbeing charity. Through our support members come to understand themselves better and to make healthy decisions.
When you work in mental health, surrounded by people who are changing, developing, growing, it is nice to reflect sometimes on what good mental health looks like. A moment to reflect that through our work people move beyond distress to strength and health.
For today’s blog I am taking a different look at the mental wellbeing aspect of coming out and living authentically.
You are confident when faced with new situations or people.
When you can bring your whole self into a situation you stand taller. You have a more open aspect and smile more naturally.
You feel optimistic.
Have you noticed that when the sun is shining everything looks a little more cheerful? That feeling of optimism comes from a lowering of stress hormones. You are less likely to look for danger, to feel threatened.
You do not always blame yourself.
Being in good mental health means you can distinguish between your actions and those of others. You can rationally review a situation. You know that being gender diverse, being trans or non-binary is simply an aspect of who you are. Through counselling you become better able to separate what is your stuff from everyone else’s. In technical speak your empathic understanding increases.
You set goals.
Coming to Chrysalis gives people the opportunity to access counselling. Our support groups are safe, confidential spaces where people can share their experiences, joys, and challenges. Breaking down the barriers of isolation and normalising being trans. Meeting with other people of similar experience is a great place to discuss your hopes, your intentions.
You feel good about yourself.
Gender euphoria is amazing. When your inner and outer self align you feel great.
Coming out, and having people use your name, your pronouns. Bringing your whole self to work, rest and play. It all gives you a wonderful sense of wellbeing.
You have good self-esteem.
Being authentic means you respect yourself, love yourself. You aim higher, smile more, stand tall. Your knowledge of who you are shines through. Good self-esteem means that you value yourself.
Chrysalis members come to us in pieces, through our support they repair their own jigsaws. We regularly review hopes, dreams, goals, and intentions with everyone we support. Through our reflections of the person we see, the person we know, our members can move beyond the pain of now. Beyond the distress of inauthenticity to a place where they can see themself as they really are.