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Whither Pronouns?

November 20, 2020
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One of the conversations I have been having a lot lately has been around email signatures.

Many people have been adding their pronouns into their email signature (both trans+ people and allies) and some people have been asking why.

This can be important for a number of reasons.

Allies (and potential allies) I now invite you to imagine that you are questioning your gender or know that you are trans/non binary.

Things feel a bit overwhelming. You feel better for realising and admitting it to yourself but you’re worried about the world around you. You just want to be able to be yourself.

Everywhere you

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On different pages?

October 30, 2020
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One of the things that comes up frequently in our groups is the speeds at which people experience acceptance of transition.

Where we support both the person transitioning and those close to them, we hear from both sides that acceptance can be an issue. It seems to often be related to time.

Trans+ people: “why can’t they just accept that I’m trans?!”

Parent/partner/sibling/etc: “why can’t they just accept that I haven’t got my head around it yet?!”

Neither side is ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ – this is about needing to communicate and build empathy.

The trans+ person has gone through a lot of internal process (and

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Asexual awareness week

October 23, 2020
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I was asked rather last minute to cover Asexual Awareness Week for this blog, so here’s my process of becoming a more outspoken ally (by doing this blog) of a group I’ve only been a casual ally of before (I’ve never had a problem with anyone ace, have a basic understanding of what it means to be ace, would stand up for anyone I thought was being unfairly treated because of it but have never gone out of my way to fly their flag). This works out well, it turns out, as this week I was planning to do a

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A World Mental Health Day Post!

October 9, 2020
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Most conversations that I have about mental health are focussed on the negatives – poor mental health, diagnoses, medication, doctors and so forth – but today I want to look at the positives.

Poor mental health outcomes for trans+ people are largely around deficits – not enough acceptance (especially from family) and limited access to medical aspects of transition, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Trans+ people with accepting friends, family, partners and workplaces and enough access to medical support where necessary (for transition needs, not mental ill health) can have just as good mental health as everyone else.

That’s

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Awareness, visibility and understanding

September 21, 2020
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Validity and Visibility

It’s #BiWeek2020, time to recognise and celebrate all the bisexual people out there with an international day of visibility on the 23rd September. Sexuality and gender identity are completely separate yet our shared experiences under the rainbow flag mean that it’s important to us here at Chrysalis to celebrate all gained freedoms, respect and understanding.

Trans people come in all shapes and sizes, all sexualities and none. For some of us finding out who we like can also be part of finding out our own identity, our own authenticity.

Bisexual means attracted to more than one gender,

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How to be an ally – people are people

September 17, 2020
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We often get asked questions about how to be an ally. Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re either trans+ or you’re an ally – or want to be (so, an ally).

One of the ways in which you can take some of the pressure of your trans+ siblings is by promoting that trans+ people aren’t weird and don’t need pity.

Promote support for all, and remind your cis siblings that asking someone outright is neither helpful or necessary – the best thing they can do is to recognise everyone as their own person.

What we know is that being accepted is one

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What on earth is CRM and why do we want it?

September 14, 2020
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For this mornings blog I’m going to take a broader view of what is going on, look outside the monitors on my desk and give you an update of breathtaking vistas, of change and development and innovation. Time to talk about the projects that are going on behind the scenes and in particular the software that is going to make all our lives easier.

I’ve spoken a bit about our CRM project and perhaps left you wondering what all the fuss is about, why would Chrysalis, who exist to support trans, non-binary and questioning people and their families and friends with

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Queer Faith

August 26, 2020
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Last week we had Osman from Hidayah come to talk about the experiences of Queer Muslims, and the debate about the differences in acceptance and faith more generally really got going in the Q&A portion of his talk.

It got me thinking about the experiences of our members who are trans+ and are, or used to be, part of a religious group.

It can be an emotive topic for some: maybe their faith is part of the reason their family doesn’t feel able to accept them or they have been excluded from their communal place of worship.

For others, it is a topic

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The other side of the coin: being near transition

August 12, 2020
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We recently had a guest speaker speak at one of our online events for members about her experience as a parent of a trans person. Loss, grief, denial, acceptance and love.

Talking to parents within Chrysalis over the years, these are common themes that come up– grieving for a child not lost, coming to terms with the changes that happen, concern for what their child’s life might be like. For most this is followed by a period of adjustment, and then they can (or may not) accept that it is what their child needed to do and start rebuilding their relationship.

It’s

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Workloads, skills and volunteering

July 31, 2020
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Well, the main theme of the week seems to have been “I didn’t really do much this week” before discussing a whole list of what we’ve each done. It turns out it’s easy to play down all the work we do and all the time we put into it – especially when we’ve been so busy all day that we get to the end of it and can’t remember any of what we did more than a couple of hours back!

This week became a reminder to me

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